I moved to the US 12 years ago today with a suitcase and 500 bucks.
Los Angeles wasn’t cool back then and everyone kept asking “why?’ But as a wardrobe stylist and someone who loved the idea of a bohemian Californian lifestyle, admired the 70s rock n roll scene of Laural Canyon/the sunset strip, the art of the 50s & 60s, a lover of film, the ocean and palm trees, I thought it was a great idea, a place full of flavor and diversity. Regardless of sometimes feeling like a stranger in a strange land, I fell in love.
I am not the same girl who jumped on a plane thinking it might be an adventure for a year or 2 and returning home is no longer simple. I got married, have two children, became a photographer, moved to Portland, I have had incredible experiences. I am a woman now, a more complete person. I think more aware, more open, a better “see-er” and better at living. Sometimes I fear not ever going home to Australia, forever being away from the island that is deeply a part of me. That sea swirls within. The warm fragrant air I can still smell and the laughter of my friends and family, always there, like my beautiful mums loving smile, in my minds eye.
I can only stay present to the life I have today, here now—–> now here —–> nowhere. Things keep moving, keep changing. This week I watched Boyhood the film, shot over 12 years. It’s extraordinary, beautiful in its simple message about life, relationships, change, growth and that life, is made up of the moments.
Last night I dreamt of being with my family then us all separating and taking different roads. I told them to not follow a map but to go where the heart leads. Jeez I miss the great land of Oz though..